UKIP Pledges to Ban Education in Schools

Pride's Purge

(satire?)

Leading members of UKIP have pledged a total ban on the teaching of children in schools, after the recent local election results revealed that educated voters who knew stuff about things were much less likely to vote for them.

In 2010, UKIP announced it would ban the teaching of climate change if elected, but it now says it will go much further and ban the teaching of knowledge of any kind in schools.

Speaking to the BBC, UKIP education spokesman Derek Clark said:

“If we continue to allow militant teachers in our schools who insist on teaching stuff to our children, it is becoming clear that we will never get enough people to vote for us. Children knowing stuff is very damaging indeed. To our chances of winning elections mainly.

Although scientists are “95%” certain that a good education results in people knowing things, the general public have become more sceptical in recent years, particularly…

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