Britain will be forced to have French loos warn Brexit

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Boris Johnson leave eu

British citizens will be forced to balance on their haunches with their trousers round their ankles and shit into a hole in the ground rather than use British seated toilets, should the UK vote to remain in the European Union, Brexit campaigners have warned today.

A furious Boris Johnson said “We need to take back control. And not just of our sphincters.

“Have you tried reading the daily telegraph whilst balanced on the balls of your feet with your arse hanging out? Well who hasn’t?  But now we’re going to be expected to take a dump at the same time. And unless we reclaim British sovereignty then dropping the kids off at the pool in an oval shaped ceramic basin with a plastic seat on it is sadly going to be a thing of the past.”

An equally incandescent Iain Duncan Smith said “We can only assume that all the…

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