Conservative leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom will bring back corporal punishment, blood letting and ducking tools should she obtain the job of Prime Minister.
“We don’t hit enough people with sticks anymore. Children, Muslims, disabled people, all think they can get away with it scot free. I want to bring Britain back to simpler times when we hit people with sticks repeatedly.” She enthused.
Indeed, Ms Leadsom is already gathering support from Conservative MPs who, like her, pine for a yesteryear where everything was like Nutwood in Rupert bear books, apart from the racial diversity hinted at by the presence of different animals living together.
“One of our biggest mistakes was the NHS. If you look back to a magical olden times, doctors just used to cut parts of your body and let all the evil drip out with the blood. And then charge you for it. They were simpler, happier…
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